The first thing to realise, when dealing with someone who is angry and /or unreasonable, is that 99% of the time, their anger is driven by unresolved hurt feelings. And while they may not be consciously aware of it, in most cases, the hurt feelings go back to their early childhood, when they felt they were not listened to and their feelings were not validated. We now know that, like everything else in the Universe, our thoughts and feelings are made of energy, and we also know that the energy pattern of our hurt feelings remains trapped in our body’s ‘energy system’, unless at some point, we resolve ‘why we feel the way we feel’. Failure to resolve our hurt feelings has a powerful influence on our subconscious programming and we are told thatour subconscious programming is responsible for 95% of our habitual self-talk as adults.
The average person has between 12-60,000 thoughts per day. 80% are negative and 95% are repetitive– The Nation Science Foundation
Children develop the capacity to rationalise their feelings once conscious awareness kicks in [around the age of eight years old]. However, by then, many children have formed the belief that they are to blame for their upset feelings. Unfortunately, shame and guilt are often added to the many hurt feelings children acquire at a young age. And if these feelings are never resolved, it is no surprise that children who feel they were never listened to or had their feelings validated, grow up to become angry, unreasonable adults. Now that we understand what lies underneath many peoples’ angry, irrational outbursts, we need to understand why we often allow ourselves to get drawn into their anger and act in knee-jerk ways. Why do we allow ourselves to be so affected by other peoples’ angry, unreasonable outbursts? You see, if we did not have feelings of a similar vibration
trapped in our own energy system, we would be able to observe other peoples’ angry, unreasonable outbursts dispassionately, perhaps even with amusement, or compassion, depending on the situation. We are told we should not take other peoples’ anger personally. We are told that everyone has a right to feel angry and that we should acknowledge their anger. We
are also told to tell ‘angry people’ we are ‘sorry they are so angry’ and to tell them we ‘understand their feelings’.
Really? To me these seem very much like the irritating ‘have a nice day’ platitudes we so often hear these days. I cannot think of any ‘angry situation’ such trite comments would diffuse.
What angry, irrational people want more than anything else is to be listened to – to be heard, to have their feelings validated. And to be able to do that, we need to show genuine empathy, unconditional positive regard and above all, kindness.
However, because we usually have mirror feelings trapped in our energy systems, we often find it impossible to remain calm and dispassionate in the face of angry outbursts. Unfortunately, the angry outbursts which affect us the most are the outbursts from family members -perhaps siblings who shared similar experiences with us, or our own children, who may have their own angry feelings about not being listened to or having their feelings validate as young children.
Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older, they often judge them; sometimes they forgive them– Oscar Wilde
Or perhaps our partners, who may have similar unresolved hurt feelings from their own childhood. In such cases, we share similar trapped energy which triggers disempowering feelings deep within us, and these feelings cause us to react in ways which often inflame angry situations instead of diffusing them.
However, if you can identify and release the trapped energy responsible for triggering knee-jerk reactions from you in response to other peoples’ anger, you will be in a much better position to react calmly, and to be able to diffuse the situation by showing kindness, warmth and genuine empathy, because you will feel it. Allowing people to identify and release the trapped energy that causes them to react in disempowering ways is the essence of Hypno-Sensing the emotional transformation technique I spent over six years developing.
If you would like to know more about Hypno-Sensing and how it can help you rewrite the subconscious programs which hold you back and cause you to act in ways which are far removed from who you consciously want to be, please click on the link above or if you would like to reserve a free consultation. If you would like to know more about Hypno-Sensing and how it can help you rewrite the subconscious programs which hold you back and cause you to act in ways which are far removed from who you consciously want to be, please click on the link above or if you would like to reserve a free consultation, please click on the link below.